Scented symphony

You know you are on the right path when it requires you to be brave

Hello all,

thank you to everyone who came to my talk at Autism London yesterday -  “Self employment and self-empowerment – make the best use of your autistic abilities”

It was a delight to work with you all and I hope you all got something out of the session!

One of the topics we discussed was positive thinking strategies so I thought I would add some affirmations here that you can use.

I recommend repeating these to yourself daily for 5 to 10 minutes (it is best to do this shortly after you wake up).

You can use all of these or choose 5 (or more) that you like and change them, if you need to.

You can also make it a conscious process throughout the day by repeating them in your head whenever you notice yourself having negative thoughts…

I am a proficient and capable person in my areas of knowledge.

I have unique and special talents that I can share with others to help them.

I have many good qualities.

I love and respect myself.

I believe in my capabilities and value the unique talents I can offer the world.

I am a valuable and important person, worthy of the respect of others.

When people get to know me, most of them like me.

I accept myself for who I am and choose to move forward with my life.

I choose to think positively about myself and about my life.

Here are the top 3 positive lifestyle choices which I suggested (and would highly recommend to those who are prone to feeling down and depressed): 

Go to sleep before 10.30pm and wake up early (5-6am)

Exercise daily (this can be a 30-min walk)

Have daily contact with nature

Try 2 or all of these for a couple of weeks and see how you feel

As I mentioned yesterday, I would also suggest starting a “gratitude diary” – at the end of each day, write down 10 positive things which have happened to you that day. Do this every day for a week then the following week, increase it to 20 things…then 30 the week after…continue doing this daily (you may even choose to write 40 or 50 items a day!)

Here are some final tips and ideas (some of which you will have on your handout, if you came to the talk yesterday):

You are not your thoughts, feelings and experiences – you are MUCH MORE than that!

Create new possibilities for yourself by letting go your past experiences

If you complain about your past or blame others, you are only taking the power away from yourself

Learn to take full responsibility for your emotions, your actions and your life

Be present in the moment

Learn to see your mistakes as valuable lessons and your problems as challenges

“You can complain because roses have thorns or you can rejoice because thorns have roses”

The amount of control you have over your own life is proportional to the amount of control that somebody else has over you

Take control of your destiny

Believe in yourself

BE HAPPY

If you have any questions or if you would like a copy of my presentation slides, email me on  introspectroom@gmail.com

Love and happiness,

Jay Blue x

It has been 24 hours since I completed the Landmark Forum, a three and a half day intensive personal development programme which takes place on a long weekend then ends two days later as a graduation event, where the participants share their experiences with their friends and family. 

Having done a lot of research beforehand (some of which was rather shocking, to say the least!!) and been highly sceptical about the whole process (and promises of new possibilities that Landmark makes!), I was convinced that it would not work for me and that the programme was nothing more than a cult or another money-making scheme. Nevertheless, seeing as a good friend of mine who is based in the U.S had, for two whole years, insisted that I would benefit from the experience, I eventually decided to give in and sign up after another person had invited me to an introduction evening in February this year.

Coming in late on the first day, with the arrogance that I would not be missing much because I had spent around 7 years in the personal development arena (this included taking part in a variety of courses, therapies and retreats as well as burying my head in an endless number of self-help books), I walked into the room where I would spend 13 hours each day for 3 days – a very plain, simple conference room with a stage, rows of chairs, three microphones, booths for interpreters at the back of the room and tables on each side with jugs of water and plastic cups.

I was blessed for the fact that a good friend of mine lives only a 15-minute walk from the Landmark Education building in London so I was able to stay with her and her husband during the course instead of spending over an hour travelling to the location.

The friend who had insisted that I do the course recommended that I bring a pillow with me to ease the pain of sitting down on what he described as “very uncomfortable” chairs. However, I did not follow his advice and found myself so absorbed in the teaching and experiences that I was sharing with the other 175 people on the course that I hardly noticed the time pass.

I was expecting to hear the same old story about goal setting, affirmations, positive thinking strategies, magic “Law of Attraction” techniques or anything remotely close to what I had seen or heard over and over again…and yet I now know that I was competely wrong because the teaching I received during the three days was unique and unlike anything I had experienced in the past.

Although explaining the process would not do it justice because the techniques used in the Forum are very experiential, I have decided to provide some detail of what happens during a course.

The process begins with the exploration of the idea that human beings have the tendency to always want to be right and to think that other people are wrong (= awareness of our own ego)…and this is followed by the realisation that we are not as honest and genuine as we like to think because our perceptions are not as accurate as we think (and tend to be very one-sided) and as a result, we make choices based on our past expriences and these experiences hold us back from reaching our true potential (= almost anything that happens to us is a self-fulfilling prophecy and anything we do is a survival mechanism).

I discovered through this process that my seemingly positive view of the world was just a coping mechanism I had developed to compensate for my fears and feelings of inadequacy. Deep down, I had many fears that I suppressed and these all came up to the surface (very intensely, I must add!) during the Forum.

I realised that I had been living in a bubble and the Forum allowed me to see who I really was, the person that was hiding underneath all the layers of expriences, ego and other cover-ups.  

During the course, all participants had the opportunity to go up to the microphone, share their personal stories and receive coaching (which I jokingly referred to as ”ego-bashing” because some of it was highly confrontational and definitely not for the faint-hearted!) in front of everyone but this was not at all compulsory and nobody was ever forced to do this. In fact, some of the participants did not share their stories and still found the experience just as enlightening as those who were brave enough to share.

Although I did not intend on doing this before I started the course, after hearing one of the other participants get up and tell everyone that he had Asperger’s Syndrome, I decided to be brave and do the same on the 3rd day of the course.

Other than sharing our stories, we also took part in some simple exercises which released any fears we may have had. One of these involved closing our eyes and on our own, going through past memories of situations where we may have felt fearful. As the course leader guided us with motivational language, we all somehow came to the conclusion how ridiculous these fears really were. At the end of this exercise, everybody was laughing and I still do not understand how this happened but all I know is that I am no longer afraid of anything.

Having heard people speaking about their lives, with such honesty and openess, it was amazing for me to finally realise that human life stories have so much in common (as we all discovered at the Forum, these are all just stories, dramas and soap operas and in reality, they do not mean anything and only hold us back from being who we really are) and I finally learnt that I was no different to anyone else – although my brain is wired slightly differently to other people, we are all the same flesh and blood underneath it all. 

I do not think I have ever felt so close to other people and the new awakening, genuine confidence and fresh perspective on life has opened the doors to many possibilities which I had not considered before.

Since the course ended, my life has been blossoming in every way and I never imagined that I would be able to do some of the things I do now.

I never knew that communication with other people could be so easy and now I know that it has nothing to do with years of social skills training or the ability to read unwritten social rules. It is about being honest, human and unafraid of being the person you really are.

I’ve also learnt that there is not a drop of magic involved in true success – it is about not allowing your past dictate your future and it also about being committed, motivated and open to new possibilites.

It is not our lack of ability or experience that stops us from having a more successful life but our thoughts and feelings associated with our previous experiences – once we let these go completely, we can be honest with ourselves and others and anything becomes possible and achievable.  If everyone in the world considered the idea that we are not who we think we are, the world would be a much better place.

THANK YOU TO LANDMARK EDUCATION FOR MAKING ME SEE WHO I REALLY WAS AND GIVING ME A FRESH, CLEAN SPACE TO FILL WITH AMAZING NEW POSSIBILITIES

www.landmarkeducation.com

It has been less than 48 hours since I returned home from the meditation centre where I spent a couple of weeks volunteering.

Around me now, the place that I once called home, everything seems empty, meaningless and without a real use or purpose – foreign objects, which at one time had some significance to me, colourful paraphernalia surrounding me and stimulating my brain cells to the point where my head begins to frown or ache in confusion…not to count all the noise, the haste, the empty rush of energy…the nothingness moving forward towards…towards nothingness.

And in this state of complete surrender where I absorb everything that my life is or was, I wonder how I managed to get here…and most importantly, WHY I got here and how it is possible that everything I have learnt in such a short space of time is making me genuinely question where I am in my life and whether this is where I truly belong.

On the outside, life at the meditation centre was plain, simple and uncomplicated – sleeping quarters where only the minimum requirements were provided – a bed, tiny wooden bedside table with a lamp and some space on a shelf to put our clothes. A strict daily routine – waking up at 5am, lunch at 11am, dinner at 5pm and bedtime before 10pm, with all of the time in between left for work, meditation, rest and contemplation…and all this taking place in the midst of the softness of the surrounding hills and pastures, an incredible serenity only disturbed by the gentle murmur of the warm, curly, sleepy sheep.

On the inside, our world was filled with meaning, purpose and understanding…our purpose being to serve others and assist them on their journey of personal growth and self-discovery. And for us, as staff, every day was an opportunity to grow as a person – every minute of our waking hours we were encouraged to become better people, with the challenges that were presented to us on a daily basis helping us see and experience a new perspective of ourselves and of those around us.

Somewhere in between work and rest, our free time was often spent in the staff room, where we sat around a square table or on the creamy armchairs, discussing our meditation practice and life philosophies…and despite the fact that there were around 20 of us in total, it seemed as though we were almost in perfect harmony.

Having been around the world and back, experienced a wide variety of workplaces, never in my life had I spent time in a working environment which was as warm, accepting and so full of brightness, love and compassion.

Even people’s faces were predominantly light and open…unlike the ones I used to see every day on the London Underground…so full of darkness, misery and suffering…as I once was.

For someone on the autism spectrum, so aware of social exclusion or bullying in one form or another (even a snide, subtle comment or look of disapproval after committing a social blunder can be enough to feel worthless), the air of acceptance at the meditation centre is what drew me in the most.

For the first time in a while, outside of the autism community, I felt nurtured, understood and comfortable enough to be completely myself and this made me fully aware of my soul yearning to be in an environment which is spiritual, inclusive and promotes personal growth.

HAPPY WORLD AUTISM ACCEPTANCE MONTH

Love, truth and happiness always…

Jay Blue

YAY!!!  it has been confirmed that I will be speaking at the following events…

www.autismlondon.org 

Tuesday, 1st May @ ALAG (Autism London) 

7pm (doors open at 6.30pm)

Title of my presentation: “Self-employment and self-empowerment – make the best use of your autistic abilities”

www.autscape.org

23-26 July (exact time and date to be confirmed) @ AUTSCAPE

Title of my session: “Dating and romance – more success and less heartbreak”

Both of these events will be aimed at an autistic audience

Seeing as I will be one of the judges of the National Autistic Society’s photography competition and the theme is “Friendhsip”, I have decided to post an image which represents friendship for me… 

…a colourful magnet which draws you in and if you reach deep inside it, it leaves a lasting impression on your mind x

Thank you for (re)visiting my mind…

I am having some time away to recharge, focus on other things and have some space away from some of the stressful elements of the life I have been leading in the autism community xx